Joke of the Day: Congress

Ah, divine justice sprinkled with irony and wrapped in a chortle. What could be more perfect?

From Allahpundit:

NYT: ObamaCare may have accidentally stripped Congress of health coverage

As someone once said, “Heh.”

The law apparently bars members of Congress from the federal employees health program, on the assumption that lawmakers should join many of their constituents in getting coverage through new state-based markets known as insurance exchanges.

But the research service found that this provision was written in an imprecise, confusing way, so it is not clear when it takes effect.

The new exchanges do not have to be in operation until 2014. But because of a possible “drafting error,” the report says, Congress did not specify an effective date for the section excluding lawmakers from the existing program.

Under well-established canons of statutory interpretation, the report said, “a law takes effect on the date of its enactment” unless Congress clearly specifies otherwise. And Congress did not specify any other effective date for this part of the health care law. The law was enacted when President Obama signed it three weeks ago.

There must be a “how dumb are they?” joke that is just perfect for this moment. The whole damn Democratic caucus was so smug when they passed this crap sandwich. What do they say-act in haste, repent at leisure?

No doubt this little oversight will be fixed. In the mean time, let’s all have a good laugh.

Traficant for Congress

Why not?

Traficant hinted at the possibility of returning to Congress two weeks ago when he hosted a press conference in Canfield to unveil plans to develop a casino/resort in the Mahoning Valley. He said then that he would be circulating petitions in the three districts to assess his political strength and support in the region, but stopped short of announcing he would jump in the race.

Traficant’s announcement comes just four months after the former congressman was released from a federal prison in Rochester, Minn., where he served a portion of a seven-year sentence for racketeering and bribery. The congressman was convicted in 2002 and became the second member to be expelled from of the House of Representatives since the Civil War. (emphasis added)

Seven years in federal prison for racketeering and bribery? Sounds like he would be a perfect fit for the current congress.

What Happens When the Bill Comes Due?

Via Memeorandum:

After twenty-five years working in the banking industry I've seen it thousands of times-that moment when the bills are due and there isn't enough money to pay them. The vast majority of people are not deadbeats and the vast majority of people will pay their bills no matter what it takes. In the real world, when the bills come due people will adjust their lifestyle in order to meet their obligations.

The real world does not exist within the halls of Congress. That's because they are playing the game with other people's money. When the bills come due in Washington they simply spend more of your money. Unfortunately, you and I aren't giving the kids in Washington enough money to keep them in the lifestyle to which they have become accustomed to so it is time to pony up.

According to the New York Times, the VAT is back on the table:

The favored route of economists is known as a value-added tax, which is a tax on goods and services that is collected at every step along the production chain, from raw material to a consumer’s shopping bag. Similar to a sales tax, it generally results in consumers paying more for the things they buy. The revenues could be used to pay for health care or other social programs, or just to pay down existing debt.

Like universal health care, every other industrialized country in the world already has a value-added tax (as do about 100 emerging countries). And also like universal health care, this once-taboo policy option has recently been invoked, at times begrudgingly, by many prominent Washingtonians, including the House speaker, Nancy Pelosi; John Podesta, who was co-chairman of President Obama’s transition team; and two former Federal Reserve chairmen, Alan Greenspan and Paul A. Volcker

...a tax on goods and services that is collected at every step along the production chain, from raw material to a consumer’s shopping bag. In simply terms, the price of everything you buy for your family goes up and up and up until finally, it reaches you, and you then pony up your "fair share" for spineless politicians who don't have the balls to play by the same rules imposed on the rest of us. So much for Obama's promise not to raise taxes on the middle class.

Our politicians don't think that we will stand for having services scaled back in order to pay down the deficit. But in our personal lives, we cut back on things that we consider 'essential' all the time. We brown bag it to lunch, eat dinner at home, drive our car until the wheels fall off.
And maybe Washington should clean up its own house before it asks us for more:

The highest-paid federal employees are doing best of all on salary increases. Defense Department civilian employees earning $150,000 or more increased from 1,868 in December 2007 to 10,100 in June 2009, the most recent figure available. (emphasis added)

When the recession started, the Transportation Department had only one person earning a salary of $170,000 or more. Eighteen months later, 1,690 employees had salaries above $170,000. (emphasis added)

I don't think that it is unreasonable to tell our representatives that they can forget about getting one more penny from us until they start spending the money we've already given them more responsibly.

I Don't Know Who Bill is, But I like Him

Via Instapundit:

FOCUS GROUP: Congress Is Like Satan. Best bit: “One telling moment came after Hart asked each voter to write the name that comes to mind when they think of Congress. Bill, a 62-year-old retired automobile-industry executive and independent who backed Obama, wrote ‘Satan.’ When Hart asked why, Bill answered, ‘Because I wasn’t sure of the correct spelling of ‘Beelzebub.’ Now that’s intensity.”

Wild Horses

If you are one of the few people who still buy in to the Congress’s pretense of seriousness, Mark Steyn is here to clear things up:

John Hinderaker of the Powerline Web site mused on whether this would involve Nancy Pelosi (who's very keen on federally funded contraception) personally installing the enhanced prophylactic device on every stallion. The pay-per-view rights on that would surely be worth $700 million at least. And it would certainly stimulate the American latex industry. Or perhaps we could import them from overseas. I seem to recall the European Union introduced shape and size regulations for a harmonized Euro-condom a few years back, only to have the Germans complain that these things were too small and obviously made for Greeks – or possibly vice-versa, before any Greek readers file a federal hate-crimes suit. Anyway, the point is that somewhere in a European warehouse there are piles of ill-fitting Euro-condoms gathering dust. Surely it's not beyond the wit of Congress to convert a few superfluous GM plants in Michigan into facilities for sewing together unwanted Euro-contraceptives to fit federally condomed mustangs. Just thinking outside the horse box here.

My apologies for bringing Nancy Pelosi up so early in the day. If it helps, remember; it is always beer thirty somewhere.

Steny Hoyer, Do You think Something's Funny?

Think about this for a moment: Tomorrow you go in to work and the man who signs your paycheck tells you he has some questions about your job performance. The boss starts questioning some of your decisions and how you arrived at decisions and you respond by laughing in his face. In fact, you seize the moment to go all Good As Gold by saying, “I don’t know” (obscure reference but well worth it). You don’t know how you arrived at your point and you don’t care. There may, or may not, have been some research done but you didn’t read it and quite frankly, you think it is laughable that the person who pays you expects just a little it more.

Welcome to the unemployment line, UNLESS, you are a member of Congress. In the little people’s World, we are held accountable by our bosses. We give a day's work for a day's pay and a whole HELL of a lot more. But in CongressLand, the workers (congressmen) expect, no demand, that the people who hired them (taxpayers) accept their shoddy work. They believe we should smile subserviently and say, “Thank you sir, may I have another?”

PARENTLY WARNING! Mom and Dad, stop reading NOW! (my parents occasionally come by) Bull flipping shit! Puppies, I put you in your job and I can take you out. I am accountable for the job I do and it is high time you are too. I expect my Congressman to know what they write, read what they write and be able to coherently stand up for what the write. I don’t want to hear excuses about “staffers” because I didn’t hire any staffers, you did, and YOU are the only person who is accountable to ME.

While we’re on the subject, wipe that grin off your face and stop laughing. Ain’t nothing funny here, and if there is, trust me, I’ll be laughing last.