Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Synthenol? I'll Stick With the Real Thing


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Synthetic alcohol, or synthenol, produces a hang-over free high perfect for escape and revelry. The main ingredient is found in Valium, so it works on the brain to relax. Unlike natural alcoholic beverages, however, synthenol does not affect brain functions that alter moods. Synthenol will not affect the areas of the brain related to addiction.

This type of alcohol can be imbibed all night without causing extreme drunkenness. Synthenol can also come with an antidote, perhaps in pill form, which will immediately stop the euphoria—in case, for example, driving home or operating heavy machinery is necessary.
Hang over free alcohol? Does it come in beer flavor?

Look, I can see the advantage of synthenol but I like my drink just the way it is now, thank you. My sloppy drunk days are years behind me so I can go out and have a good time without any “extreme drunkenness.” Learning to handle your drink is a part of growing up, which I suddenly did somewhere in my mid forties.

On the other hand, alcohol addiction has destroyed many families and many lives. If alcoholics could successfully substitute an addiction to alcohol for an addiction to synthenol, which at least on the surface appears far less harmful, I am all for it. Yes, I know, better not to be addicted at all, but in the real world it is easier said than done.

But somehow the thought of “relaxing” with synthenol and then taking a pill to counteract the effects just seems creepy. After all, isn’t it the negative effects of over imbibing that leads people to the decision to not over imbibe? There is something about creating a “fix” for something that most people will fix on their own that seems nannyish.

It will be years before synthenol is available. Until then I’ll just kick back with a Bud Lite and see how it plays out.

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