Wednesday, July 22, 2009

BREAKING NEWS! The Recession Is Over

The best of all possible news comes from Don Surber:

The recession is over

Rahm Emanuel: “we rescued the economy from the worst recession.”

The White House chief of staff said it; it must be true.

I am so glad that the recession is over. I was getting bored by the whole thing — looking at the number of jobs lost every week, the unemployment rate rising every month and how dismal 401(k) has gotten.

We were drowning. Obama threw us an anvil, er, a life preserver.

Great. Now we can get back to the business of scraping the unicorn droppings off the floor.

Republican House Leader John Boehner, though, is not convinced that President Obama rescued us from the worst recession.

Boehner said:

“Madam Speaker, American families and small businesses are hurting. The economy has been hurting, but this morning in previewing the President’s speech tonight, our former colleague, the President’s Chief of Staff, said this: ‘we rescued the economy.’

“Now, I’m sure that the 9.5 percent unemployment rate that we have in our country today and from most economic experts on its way up don’t believe that we’ve rescued the economy. The 11.1 percent unemployment rate that we have in Ohio, I’m sure those people are looking up today wondering, wait a minute, the President is going to say we rescued the economy? I don’t think so.

“Not only has the stimulus not worked and the economy not been rescued, the President continues to promote policies that will create more unemployment in America. The national energy tax that went through this House last month will cause millions of Americans to lose their jobs over the next 10 years, at 2.5 million per year. And we’re debating the health care plan, the government takeover of health care, which according to the President’s council of economic advisor’s model will cost five million more Americans their jobs.

“I don’t believe that the economy has been rescued. I yield back.”

Spoilsport.

The video is here.

I for one am feeling much better. Now if President O would just pay my mortgage and put gas in my car…

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