No problem! ACORN understands your needs and has your back. Look, if you want to take out a loan and you're "self employed" you've got to provide tax returns. The government, busy buddies that they are, force people to list their occupation on tax returns. Probably not a good idea to list "prostitute" in the occupation field. Thanks to ACORN, we now know that prostitutes are "performance artists" and $8,000 a month in prostitution is equal to $800 in a month in "performance artist" dollars. Say you want to "import" underage illegal aliens to work as "performance artists", no problem. Thanks to ACORN, we now know that the underage illegal aliens can be claimed as dependents. Those guys over at ACORN are one swell group of upright, honest, honorable do-gooders who deserve every dollar of taxpayer money they have soaked, um, received from the public trough.
Remember, when that Census worker comes knocking on your door and wants to come in to your house and sit on your couch and gather your personal information, you can feel good knowing that that worker is an employee of ACORN.